Cras Melior Est
Our guidance. Our motto. Our excuse. Occasionally, our self-defeating behavior pattern.
It’s one thing to put something off repeatedly. That’s what we are about, and as we affirm annually, can oft be for the best. It’s another thing to put it off because we (claim to) care about it so much.
For me, the pattern is this: I will continually move a book/project/person to the top of my “queue” because they are so important to me. Each time I go to pop the next item off the queue, however, I have a brief, sometimes non-verbal conversation with myself that goes something like this:
“Wow, look at that. x is the thing I need to spend time with next. You know, that person/place/thing/idea is really important to me. Like, last-bite-of-coconut-cream-pie-kind-of-important. Dang, I’ve only got like 5 minutes right now. I care so deeply and passionately about this thing, I can’t even get my turbines spun up to the kind of speed that I want to spend on this in the time I have available. Let me push it a spot deeper in the queue until I can give it the kind of time it deserves. There. Done. Oh, look, Zack and Cody reruns are on the Disney Channel…and it’s the episode where they become super heroes…” …enter self-loathing.
Crazy, isn’t it? This is exactly the sort of behavior that has repeatedly prevented me from launching this podcast idea to this fine congregation. Because I am so passionate about the dream I’ve had perculating, I’ve been afraid to launch less than a fully explained idea to you our readership. Subsequently, I end up doing next to anything (of short duration, anyway) rather than carve out the time from my absurdly (and disfunctionally, and probably fictionally) busy life.
Like writing this post, for instance.